Many years ago, I had a friend who was unhappy in his job and his life. He announced to our circle of friends his decision to quit his job, and return to his uncompleted university studies. Several within the circle cautioned him, and advised him against his course of action. But it didn't matter how we put it to him, he was set on his path.
As things turned out, what we warned against came to pass, and a year later, he was more depressed as all the reasons for his depression remained, but now he was poor and unemployed as well.
What I learned from that chapter is people will, more often than not, decide on a position and only then come up with arguments for and against. In essence, they decide with their heart, and only after that do they rationalise that decision with their head.
It occurred again a few years later when another friend had committed to share a house with someone they barely knew, and then a friend asked them to share. He agonized over whether to follow through on the barely-inked deal, or go with something he felt he'd be happier with down the track. I told him that if he wanted the second place, with his friend, then he should go with it, and stop trying to reason it out. Which he did. And it turned out well.
Most of us like to think we do the opposite. Most of us like to think we calmly weigh up the choices available and reach a logical conclusion. But we don't. For the most part, we go with what our heart tells us and the 'reasons' are tacked on afterwards as window-dressing on the decision to satisfy our need to convince ourselves and others.
I am thinking of reviving this old blog. Not sure if I can still post to it though. So this is a test.